The Blame Game
What is the cause of the results you get in life?
That’s a great question, isn’t it? Many of us try to rationalize or make excuses to justify certain outcomes, especially the negative ones😏 … I myself have pointed the finger at others and made excuses when I didn’t get the results I wanted or needed. Throughout my life and career as a professional ski racer, I always thought others were the cause of many mistakes and poor performances, blaming friends and even family members for negativity.
Attitude – Arguably one of the hardest sections of the course, but also the most rewarding and enlightening. Learning about your attitude and our perception of it is very interesting. Our attitudes have great impacts on all of our experiences, and although you may think other’s attitudes affect yours, they don’t. We are free to think and decide our own thoughts. Those thoughts create feelings, feelings manifest into action – our attitudes.
During my career, there have been many times I struggled to stay positive and have a good attitude. Always being ridiculed for everything day in and day out. This of course created so much confusion, doubt and anger towards the world. My effort was there, I want to feel better and be happier but I can’t… everyone and things are against me. Little did I know it was my attitude creating this negativity and I was letting other’s attitudes affect my own… Spiralling.
Completing the attitude course gave me the tools and the understanding of how to use our biggest asset, our minds. Learning how the mind works, putting it to use and benefiting from it. Applying some small changes I instantly felt the weight and tightness lift from my shoulders. All of a sudden I had a smile on my face. For years many have tried to help me and I just wouldn’t listen or open my mind to see the destruction I was causing.
We all have misfortunes in life, and they can cause a lot of pain or anger. I myself have a few trigger words or subjects when brought up in conversation my attitude changes, and not for the better.
“Now why would they bring that up?!”
Then the blame game… “I missed my par putt because…”
Out comes the poor attitude, down in the dumps because so ‘n so said something that made me angry, causing me to miss my 3 footer for par, resulting in a three putt Bogey and losing the match. Grumpy, with a bad attitude, sucking the fun out of the great time we were all having. #funsponge
Well, I chose to be angry about the comment which started it all. Taking my focus away from what I was doing, resulting in a poor performance. Of course, I don’t want to admit I have control over this so I blame the missed putt on someone else. Since it was someone else’s fault, now I’m angry with them and give them a bad attitude. This is your fault I’m in a bad mood.
This time I’ll try it another way…
Example – slow drivers
Driving used to be so stressful for me, but since I started thinking differently I’m enjoying my road trips and don’t get nearly as tired or stressed.
“Why are you going so slow!?”
Usually, I would let myself get worked up, tailgate and speed past them dangerously. As if they are purposely trying to inconvenience me. Instead, I try thinking from their perspective. This is the speed I feel comfortable and safe at. No problem, I’ll keep that safe distance and pass when it’s safe if I even pass at all. The end result of arrival time might be the difference of seconds, but the change in attitude and happiness is huge.
Give it a try – next time you feel yourself getting angry, or upset with something take a moment and think why?