2021 has been challenging for many in this world. I have seen many begin to struggle mentally. The chaos and uncertainty we have experienced have sent many on the path into fear, doubt and worry. I have learned on my journey; these three are lethal. The mixture creates toxic stress, anxiety, frustration, sadness, isolation, hatred, and shame. For those visiting for the first time, this has become debilitating.

We have seen friendships lost, families devastated, and individuals incapacitated. Businesses have shut down; masks are everywhere, judgment and hatred are running rampant. We have become more segmented as a society, and everyone is losing something.

Do we have control over any of this? The answer is yes, we do.

Regardless of what the people in power say or implement, we always get to choose how we feel. On my journey of becoming mentally well, I have learned that I always have a choice.

I read a book called Man’s search for freedom written by Viktor E. Frankl. It is his account of surviving the holocaust. In the book, he shares the horrors he and others faced and what he came to realize. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

At different times in my life, I struggled to manage my attitude in the challenges life has put in front of me. But, unfortunately, it caused me to blame others and feel guilt over how I acted or what I said. As a result, I began to isolate myself from others. I shut down my emotions. I built a wall that I thought was protecting me from the pain of it all. I created more pain and suffering and increased the inability to manage what Viktor Frankl stated: “to choose one’s attitude in any given situation.”

In my healing, I learned that I could control my attitude. I found help, individuals who had seen the way out of pain and suffering.

Others who had endured and overcome showed me that I had the power to live my life in the way I wanted. So I began to search out more people who had been able to overcome, hear their stories, and learn how they did it. As I listened and asked questions, I began to see the path I had been searching for for over 20 years.

It was my ability to take the hands being extended to me. I stepped out of the darkness I had kept myself in and allowed myself to become vulnerable. I started to trust and accept others for who they were. I began to accept myself and all of my imperfections. I began to practice patience with my healing; this would be one of the most arduous journeys I would ever start.

It was others who inspired me to continue on this new path. My Dad was encouraging as he managed his diabetes, friends who stayed positive when chaos appeared, my teachers who were what they believed. Finally, when I needed to talk, people would listen to validate what I was feeling and not make it wrong or stupid.

In the work that I do here at IGM, I see it all the time. People who have lost themselves suddenly hear something that I shared or embrace something that we teach; it moves them, strengthens them, and empowers them. It is proof that we cannot do this alone.

The holiday season is supposed to be about being with those we love and meant to bring us together and be thankful for all we have. We can put aside our differences and accept and love those we spend time with, regardless of their beliefs or opinions. But, unfortunately, the world today is challenging. Every day, something happens to someone; this can cause them to lose the ability to control their attitudes. We isolate ourselves or others when this occurs, but togetherness truly gives us strength.

I have learned that I could not do it alone; I have learned that no one can do it alone. There are strength in numbers. If we are to become well, be balanced, and provide support to others, we must learn to accept our differences, accept ourselves for who we are, and accept others for who they are.

We are so much better together. If you have struggled this past year, I am sorry that you have had to experience what you have. I know that you can find relief, support, and peace. You cannot do it alone; I have not met anyone in this life that has. Remember, we are stronger and better together.

I am wishing you a happy holiday season and a brilliant 2022!