Welcome back and thanks for being here!
So what’s new since last week? Well, I just went through the Profile Evaluation System which essentially builds a psychological profile that will help me and my facilitator identify my strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. This is the first step in the Success Strategies Program.
How’d it go? Well, my incredible lack of basic math skills shone through in the beginning and got me sweating. I didn’t realize the kind of questions I’d be asked in the various sections and oh man it was embarrassing even though I was alone in my office. I ran out of time on the first few sections (even with leaving many of the math questions blank) so that made me even more anxious. Once I made it through to the vocabulary and more personal behaviour-related questions I relaxed and it was a breeze. I’m excited to see my results and I will share them with you once I have them. Although I think of myself as someone who is very self-aware I’m hoping it brings some new things to light that will help me shift my perspective.
My Success Strategies workbook has arrived so next week I’ll detail how the first lesson and facilitator meeting go! I’m excited to have some tough conversations and take a hard look in the mirror. In the meantime, I have still been trying to solidify a new workout routine, 30-45 minutes of dumbbell work weekday mornings as soon as my alarm goes off at 6 am followed by shoulder rehab until 7 am. I’m now consistently getting that done 4 out of 5 days and striving for 5 high-intensity efficient lifts per week. I am eating way healthier and more consistently, I signed up for Hello Fresh to help which has turned out to be a great investment. Those two things combined have made a huge difference in my overall mood. However, I have had days where I didn’t stick to these routines and paid the price in terms of mood and energy. My biggest struggle of late is focus and motivation. I have struggled to use my scheduler and notebook effectively, I seem to spend way too much time planning only to not stick to the plan or I forget about the planning entirely and spend a day shooting from the hip. Oddly enough I have been getting way more done when “shooting from the hip” for some reason those days I can focus on individual tasks better. I’m not giving up on it though, I think these are just growing pains.
I am still trying to practice gratitude as well but have been very inconsistent. My new plan is to work it into some positive self-talk during my morning lifts. I will put a sticky note on my weight rack as a reminder. This should help with the self-doubt and my tendency to disassociate and live in a fantasy world in my head. Focusing on the great life I have instead of daydreaming about a different one is my goal with the gratitude practice.
Thanks for checking in, write you next week!
Esty
Tag: self-care
The Transition Game – Week 0
The Transition Game
Week 0
Estevan Hale
Welcome to The Transition Game blog series! Every week I will make an entry to summarize and reflect on my experience as I go through the I Got Mind Success Strategies Program. I will do my best to be entirely open and honest about the experience and how it affects me. I hope through reading this series you will gain a better understanding of what I Got Mind does and learn some things that you can apply to your own life. What I really want is for this to inspire you to be open and vulnerable about your own experiences.
So, why am I doing this? Well, I have plenty of answers to that question but the simplest way to put it is I feel like shit! Now, I’m not here to vent or complain, I’m here to learn, grow, and feel the way I want to feel. Let me give you a bit more background on who I am and what led me to be writing this blog today. I’m a Hockey guy, I just finished playing five years of college Hockey. Always known for my work ethic, dedication to the weight room, and being an absolute grinder. My almost non-existent point totals throughout my career will back that up.
Hockey and the weight room have been my two main outlets almost my entire life. If I had a bad day, you’d most likely find me in the weight room or on the ice trying to hit every single person who touched the puck. This kept me going and feeling great for many years but once I got to the college level, things started to change for me. I found myself struggling with confidence on the ice, which meant I got to play less, which meant I spent even more time in the weight room. Of course, I always found time for a heavy bench press or squat day, but stretching and mobility… managed to mostly avoid being placed in my daily schedule. I started to struggle with injuries due to the way I played and the way I was “taking care” of myself. I struggled with injuries and confidence my entire five-year college career.
My two outlets began to slowly fade and it took a toll on my mental health. The first time I saw a counsellor was in my second year of college Hockey. Things were bothering me in my personal life at the time on top of my athletic struggles. It was a good first step, but it didn’t last long, and I didn’t commit to it fully, so I saw few positive results.
These same things plagued me for the next three years, but at the time I didn’t realize, I just kept doing what I had always done because it got me where I was.
Then Covid-19 arrived, cutting my final season short, cancelling my last Athletic Banquet (The best night of the year every year as a student-athlete), and of course my grad. I remember watching my virtual grad ceremony and seeing my name scroll across the screen, I’m not sure what it was, but I just broke down. I couldn’t believe that’s how my five-year journey ended, all the work, injuries, and pressure for what? I felt like a loser, I felt like I put myself through so much for nothing.
Then I was faced with a question I had no clue how to answer… “now what?”. I didn’t want to start my work career… all I ever really wanted was to be a professional athlete. I needed reconstructive shoulder surgery from countless dislocations and my groin was hanging on by a thread. I still lacked confidence and I had grown quite bitter when it came to Hockey. So, I hung up the skates but I still didn’t know what the hell I wanted to do.
I floated around, worked part-time hours consulting for some small businesses and got my shoulder surgery. The combination of surgery and Covid ended up being quite hard on me, but it was a good time to do it as I didn’t miss out on anything. However, going from an extremely active and social student-athlete to being trapped in a small condo in a sling affected me in ways I never imagined. I started to spiral, more and more negative thoughts every day, no purpose, no socialization, no motivation. I just let myself rot, I felt stuck, and I felt like “what the hell is the point”. My attitude and mental state started to affect the people closest to me. It caused friction, fights, and further isolation. I continued to spiral. I finally recognized that this was more than just “a Covid year” and that I needed some help. I found a counselling service and started that process again, this time determined to really commit and see the benefits, and pull myself out of this black hole I was letting myself be sucked into. I half-committed and saw positive results, but they didn’t last long.
I continued to spiral, more negative thoughts invading my mind. I dreaded hearing the alarm go off in the morning, I never wanted to leave my bed. I didn’t want to deal with life, it started to feel like a burden I didn’t ask for. Everyday tasks became harder and harder and I recognized myself in the mirror less and less. Every once and a while I’d have a day where I felt motivated to make some change and pick up some healthy habits, from journaling to a new workout routine. But, I could never seem to make any of it stick, which isn’t like me… especially when it comes to working out.
Finally, one day on my way home from work I broke down again, this time I called my Mom. I vented to her, I told her how hopeless and lost I felt, how stuck I felt. She was unreal, Mom of the year, it was a conversation I don’t think I’ll ever forget. After I finished venting and she calmed me down, she told me about some other family members who have struggled with depression. I had no idea that those family members had struggled, but it gave me some hope. I thought okay if they can get through something like that, I can get through this. Unfortunately, that thought was followed with little and inconsistent action.
For a few more months I stayed that way, some good days, mostly not so good days. I had a really hard time taking care of myself physically, not eating, not working out, I couldn’t sleep without cannabis, all of which made me feel even worse mentally. Most days the only thing that got me out of bed was my puppy needing to go for a walk. I honestly don’t know where I’d be mentally without the little guy. I became very self-destructive which I had struggled with in years prior, but never to this extent.
I am incredibly fortunate to have the support system I have. Someone finally just called me out because it got to the point that I was bringing other people down with me. People I deeply care for. Sadly, that’s what it took for me to ACTUALLY do something about the way I have been feeling.
I called my doctor and officially was diagnosed with depression, checked off every single box. This was actually a huge relief. I finally had an actual explanation of why I felt so stuck, why I kept feeling the “call to the void”, why I couldn’t commit and pull myself back up. Now I just had to decide exactly what I was going to do about it.
The IGM Success Strategies program was the first thing that came to my mind. I need structure to keep me accountable when I am in this state, something more than just a Zoom call with a counsellor. I knew it would be at least a month before I could start. So I came up with a few ways to get back into working out, my boss gave me a great workbook to organize my days and set both personal and career goals, my girlfriend and I came up with a plan to eat better and more consistently. Essentially, I’m trying to reinstate my student-athlete lifestyle but in a sustainable way. I spent so long focusing on building the racecar (my body) but never once thought about the driver (my mind). I was the athlete equivalent of a Formula 1 racecar being driven by a gorilla. This time, my focus is balance, and mental wellness above all else. It’s time I truly practice what I preach.
Wish me luck, I’m nervous as hell, but I’m excited to share what I learn and how it affects me.
Write you next week,
Esty
Exploration: The Underrated Self Care Method
Post credit – Mandie
When we say the word exploration, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Do you picture a vast Canyon with an open sky? A lake so vast you can’t see the end? Or a field with nothing but flowers and sun.
Whichever you imagine, how do those places make you feel? Does it bring happiness or comfort? Excitement or Danger? Exploring a new place can be all of those emotions and feelings, and it can be important to put yourself out into the world.
Why should I explore new places? You might be asking yourself this question, and you might say “What’s the point?” Oh my friend, there are many opportunities from the exploration of new places and removing ourselves from the chaos that is everyday life, the monotony of it all can be so oppressive that most of us don’t even realize it.
Stress Relief
Do you ever feel yourself overwhelmed or run down? Then I have great news. Traveling and the exploration of new places is an amazing stress reducer and happiness booster. You may feel your mind clouded by worries and we all know how much social media wears on our consciousness.
There is also a science behind why exploration is a viable option for stress relief.
Exploration promotes happiness which leads to lower cortisol levels making us feel more calm and content. According to a 2013 study 80% of Americans who were surveyed noticed a drop of stress levels just after a day or two of traveling. When we explore safely, it can be one of the greatest self care acts out there.
Creativity Boost
If you’re an esteemed artist or just a casual one, exploration can exponentially increase your creativity. Visiting an environment with some sort of local culture can bring new ideas, philosophies, and cognitive flexibility.
We know it sucks to stare at a blank piece of paper and think “Why am I so blocked…” and that’s exactly why we should go to a new place or take a walk to reset our train of thought and inspire new ideas to come forth from visual stimulation.
Even Ernest Hemingway, for example, drew inspiration for much of his work from his time in Spain and France. Now I know not everyone can afford to travel across the world, but even going to a new remote hiking location or new town can promote health and creativity.
It Brings You Out of Your Comfort Zone
A lot of people in modern society have trouble with going out of their comfort zone, especially if it has to do with doing something new. Facing difficulties in an unfamiliar environment, among new people, forces you to learn and adapt to a life that’s out of your comfort zone.
This makes you more flexible, patient and emotionally strong. Exploration of new places can be especially tricky for people who have social anxiety, or people who have agoraphobia or have agoraphobic tendencies.
We’ve personally dealt with having that anxiety of leaving our house and going to a new place…your mind races and you might think “What if I die…What if I get lost…What if I witness something horrible? The number one thing we can tell you is, just do it.
We know how hard it can be, trust us, but every time we’ve left the house and went somewhere new, we’ve enjoyed it and learned many new things, not only about ourselves but about the world. We KNOW you can do it too, but here are some tips to help make you feel more secure when visiting a new place.
Helpful Tips
- NEVER go alone in a new busy city, or dangerous area if you choose to go to places like that. Make sure you bring someone you trust with you to keep you safe, or know who to call if you’re ever in trouble. It also doesn’t hurt to learn basic self defense moves
- If you have social anxiety, try going to a more remote, nature based location to ease your mind.
- Keep a positive attitude and open mind. It’s so important for your self care and health in general to think on the bright side and be an open person. This helps expose yourself to new things and cultures.
If something or someone seems a little weird or different from yourself, think of how they got that way or why they do what they do. Cultures can differ from place to place so you always want to be aware.
- Be respectful. Like I said above, being in a new place can bring new things, so make sure when you do visit a new place, to try and be respectful of their cultures and traditions.
In general, just follow the rules they have set there and you should be fine. Ex. In Japan people almost never wear shoes inside, and have personal indoor slippers for you to use. It’s not illegal to wear shoes inside, but people will consider it very rude and will most likely not let you enter the establishment without taking them off.
- Let go and have fun! Exploring new places should be looked at with a sense of wonder and excitement. Make sure you do what you want to do while you’re in a new place and just have fun. It can hinder all the health benefits included by not letting yourself just be selfish and enjoy it.
Live Freely
Now that you’ve read this, pick a new destination twice a week for 2 weeks and go forth! Life is about freedom and adventure. Be okay with bracing the unknown and think about your health first. Get in touch with the world around us and be safe.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
– Andre Gide
Mandie
