Tag: habits

The Transition Game – Week 4

Welcome back!

Good news, since last week I have completed both the book and online lessons for Habits, got back on the workout train, have been much more productive, and have made progress in changing my bad habit of procrastinating tasks I dislike. My facilitator made it very clear to only focus on one habit at a time and I felt changing this one first would have the greatest impact on how I feel day to day. My gratitude practice is still really lacking and I need many reminders to do it daily, now that I am back to working out I have put a notepad and pen on my dumbbell rack and will incorporate my gratitude practice into my warmup ritual. Using my scheduler is another big challenge for me that I have yet to consistently integrate into my daily and weekly routines. I love having a plan, I hate having things planned down to the minute and that is my character strength score of 1 – which means I am very flexible as opposed to traditional. Often, I find myself completely disregarding everything I planned on paper which in turn causes me to think “well why the hell am I wasting time on this, I got way more done when I just winged it”. That is NOT a growth mindset and I will continue to work at using my scheduler consistently AND STICKING TO THE PLAN.

The Habits section of the Success Strategies program has been a great challenge but also my biggest opportunity for growth yet. I have realized how many poor habits I have which makes it difficult for me to not beat myself up. I have to constantly fight my utter disappointment in myself with each bad habit I recognize in my homework as well as when they pop up throughout my days. This is going to take years of hard work and dedication to break all these bad habits and replace them with good ones. I am very familiar with years of hard work and dedication however; I am not so used to it being on the mental side of things. Going back to the first blog post I wrote I talked about how during my Hockey career “I was the athlete equivalent of a Formula 1 racecar being driven by a gorilla”. This has rung true yet again, after writing down all of my habits both good and bad, all the good ones were physical (eating healthy, drinking lots of water, staying in great shape, staying very active even when working out is a challenge) and the bad ones were mental (stressful thinking, negative self-talk and self-doubt, mistrust of people, skepticism of all things society, procrastinating tasks I dislike or think are stupid, pushing my feelings down, putting up emotional walls).

I truly cannot wait to rid myself of the “gorilla” but I have to stay patient, focused, and increase my dedication to this work. Through the work that I have done so far here is what I’m noticing (on days I stay on top of it):

  • Decreased symptoms and feelings of depression
  • Increased self-awareness
  • Increased motivation
  • Better sleep (less dependant on cannabis)
  • Less autopilot and more present in the moment
  • Exhausted… but from the work, workouts, and mindfulness not for seemingly no reason
  • I’m starting to get excited about doing things again (rollerblading, walking, outdoor hangouts)
  • Looking for new hobbies instead of just letting myself rot, though this has been hard due to covid, at least I want to find something, I’m interested in trying Muay Thai and can’t wait for things to open up and to get vaccinated so I can dive in.

There is much work to be done, but for the first time in a while, that doesn’t bother me or stress me out.

Thanks for checking in, write you next week!

Esty

The Transition Game – Week 3

Welcome back!

So what’s new? Well since I last wrote I completed the online portion of “Defining your Role”, had another meeting with my facilitator, and completely went off the rails with all my new self-care habits.

The online portion was great, it helped me solidify the lessons I learned in the book and allowed me to add more to my strengths and weaknesses as a family member. An area that I have struggled to define my role and find my identity within. The facilitator meeting was a highlight as always, these meetings bring so much clarity, direction, and energy. I’m always ready to run through a wall by the time I complete my course work and have that discussion. It has kept me far more accountable than anything else I have ever tried.

Why did I completely go off the rails with my self-care? I thought about omitting this, but the whole point is that I’m real with what I experience and how I feel. We had to say goodbye to a dear family member, Trooper. Those of you that are close with me know all about Troops and what he meant to our family and those that know me at all know I’m a crazy dog person. Those of you who were lucky enough to know Troops, well you know why his name was Trooper. From being dumped in someone’s back yard with a massive gash across his face and eye, multiple eye surgeries, knee surgeries, and cancer. Troops went through a lot in his 13 years, and man did he ever live up to his name.

The loss rocked me, you’re never ready for that kind of thing, but I really wasn’t ready. I don’t know if it’s just that I have been very lucky and not suffered much loss in my life. Maybe it’s because I’m an only child, Trooper was the closest thing I ever had to a brother. Maybe I am just a crazy dog person, whatever it is dogs are the key to my heart, whether it’s filling it or breaking it. All this made me realize I hate the word pet, I don’t know about you but “pet” sells every relationship I have ever had with a dog so incredibly short. In my crazy dog person opinion, there is only one word worthy of the unconditional love and joy we get from dogs… FAMILY. So needless to say I have been a bit of a mess. It has been cry, then work, then eat, then cry and repeat, nothing else. Should I have kept working out? Yep! Should I have continued to practice gratitude? YEP!! Should I have pushed extra hard to use my scheduler? For sure! I did none of it, not even one of them one time. From the time I got the news that he was starting to go until a week after he was gone, I didn’t even try to do any of these things. All I wanted to do, all I still want to do is sit, process, cry, and remember. I let it cripple me, and honestly, it wasn’t until I started writing this that I realized the best way I can honour him is to be a trooper myself.

I’m ready to get back to my new routines and I’ll remember this the next time life squeezes a lemon in my eyes. During those hard times is when I need to put in an extra effort to stick to my workouts, gratitude, and scheduling. Have I been told that before? Yes, of course! My facilitator even gave me plenty of reminders but I have a bad habit of learning things the hard way which is another item on my long self-improvement list. Funny enough, my next lesson is “Habits – Why Do You Do What You Do” which I am quite enthusiastic about as I am such a creature of habit. Whether they are healthy or unhealthy, I’m notorious for my habits and looking forward to finding out why and better yet finding out how to break those unhealthy ones!

Write you next week! Till’ then, keep on being a Trooper!

Esty

Resolution Requires Resolve: 5 Steps to Take

With the New Year comes new ideas, new hope and new resolutions. Every year our minds race with the thoughts and wishes for change in our lives. Out with the old and in with the new. The problem is and always has been that whenever we want to change, we often don’t know how to go about it. We know that we have to do things differently, but diving into the unknown is scary, like walking down a dark alley alone. We feel vulnerable, unsure and question our ability to do what we want to do.

There are some things that you must gain an understanding of to become the change that you desire. First and foremost is to understand that we are habitual creatures and the habit we are trying to change is something that we have done for a long time. Whether it is getting into shape, eating better, quitting smoking, or just living a more fulfilled life. The battle that you have chosen to fight requires commitment, or an even better word RESOLVE. The second thing we have to prepare for are those times where fear and doubt overtake us. We can start great, but resolutions are abandoned far too often within the first month. WHY? Because we are creatures of habit, this new endeavour requires a lot of thought, a lot of work and does not feel as good as we thought, or at least that is what we tell ourselves. Our MINDS are so powerful that we actually can feel helpless. Do you have what it takes to change that habit? Can you do this thing that you feel you need to do to improve yourself? The answer is YES, YOU CAN!

Here are some steps that will help you stay on track to make the change you feel will benefit you.

  1. We are very visual in our thinking. If we can’t see it, we feel we can’t do it. Create a picture board with words and images that help us attach to how it will feel when we are successful in making the change.
  2. Positive affirmations, create a sentence or two that you can repeat to yourself when you feel the fear and doubt creeping in. Something that when you repeat it to yourself makes you feel powerful.
  3. Try to find someone who can help you. Often we are making the change because of what someone has said to us. “You have to lose weight, don’t you want to feel better and be around longer?” Comments such as these make us aware but also create resentment and put our thoughts in a bad place. Find someone who will support you. Someone that will tell you that you are doing great. Encouragement empowers.
  4. Identify the things that could potentially stop you from being successful and decide how you will counter those thoughts with action. (If it is bad eating habits, then when you feel like eating a bag of chips, look at the picture board or repeat your affirmation and grab an apple or do sit-ups, take some deep breaths and focus on the new you.)
  5. BELIEVE! It is a simple case of MIND over Matter. If you don’t MIND, well, it won’t matter. THINK THINK THINK, keep good thoughts in your MIND.
    Gandhi said it best “be the change you want to see in the World”.

I know that you can do it, you have done it before and this time is no different. If you are not standing on the edge, you are taking up too much room. Push yourself and gain an understanding of the fact that you can do anything you put your MIND to.

Good luck to you all! I wish you a happy and successful 2021.

Bob Wilkie
President, I Got Mind Inc.