In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.
Regulate – def. – to adjust so as to ensure accuracy of operation. To put in good order.
How would you rate yourself in how you regulate yourself? The definition above says to put “in good order”. What we are trying to help you understand is that you are always the one in control of how your emotions are regulated. Easier said than done, isn’t it?
One of the most important daily tasks we have is to monitor ourselves. We take this for granted often and let others dictate how we do things. Some people have issues around not taking care of themselves at all. Over the last nine months we have met with thousands of people. When we ask how much time they dedicate to themselves and their “good order”, most times we get a shaking of the head and no eye contact, or a disappointed look of helplessness.
As an athlete emotions are a powerful part of all that we do. Our training, our prep before events, during our events, after our events, in the off season, WOW that is a lot! We do little to no training on regulating ourselves. Over time we get better, as young athletes this can be very frustrating and lead to many issues. We want consistency and success, so badly that we don’t remember to keep ourselves “in good order”.
As parents and coaches we are so busy taking care of our families, our work, and then coaching, or driving kids all night that by the end of the day you feel like your hanging on by a thread. We run and run, unaware of our state or whether we are “in good order” or not.
Like so much of what we talk about and have learned, it is about you. You need to know you! We know our kids, our parents, our teachers, bosses, teammates, but how much do you really know about you? Are you aware of when you start to become dis-regulated? It is about having strategies. We love strategies, they are the solutions, the aspirin for our headaches, the pepto for our stomach aches. This is how we were intended to live.
Life will always be challenging. That is the great thing about life. No matter what we get to live it. Here are some things to help yourself stay “in good order”!
- Awareness each moment of the day. That means you have to be present. We all have a lot of things to do, stay where you are, you might enjoy it more!
- Awareness of those around you. What is the vibe? If it is good, enjoy, if it is not, think of the solution you need to execute. Tell a joke, ask a question, or remove yourself. Whatever it takes but go to the solution.
- Book it! Put your iRegulate time in your schedule. It is fine to have family time, or time with friends, also have some dedicated YOUTIME.
- Strategies to practice when you are not “in good order”. This thinking needs to be quick and can be with the proper strategy and practice. It will take time to become good at it.
- Accept the fact that you are not perfect. You will fail at this. You can become a master, that does not mean that you will be perfect. Everyone does it, everyone!
It feels to good to be “in good order”. It takes work, like most things in life, you have to commit. You cannot do it when you feel like it, you must do it when it is required. Not only for you, but also for the ones you lead, the ones you love, and the ones you need.
Put yourself “in good order”, you deserve it! Life will be so much better when you can iRegulate!